013 - Steve Ek, Unapologetically Confident
Steve Ek is a visionary entrepreneur, whose journey is a testament to resilience and determination. From humble beginnings on the Northwest side of Chicago, Steve faced the kinds of significant challenges, like growing up in a tumultuous household and battling addiction at a young age, that drag many people down to sorrowful depths and never let them go. Despite his life's hardships, Steve found a mentor who showed him what was possible and instilled in him the foundational discipline he lives by today.
Steve owns a thriving auto repair business that pays well, yet he's still committed to pushing his income to new heights through the power of mindset, strategic investments, and surrounding himself with positive and highly influential people. Steve's approach to coaching others is deeply personal and hands-on, ensuring that his clients not only achieve their business goals, but also find fulfillment and purpose.
Our conversation got off to a wonderful start when I simply asked Steve how he was doing. I'm Damon Davis, and this is my discovery diary with the unapologetically confident Steve Ek.
Transcript
013 Steve Ek - Unapologogetically Confident
[:[00:00:37] Damon (2): He's still committed to pushing his income to new Heights through the power of mindset, strategic investments, and surrounding himself with positive and highly influential people. Steve's approach to coaching others is deeply personal and hands-on. Ensuring that his clients Not only achieve their business goals, but also find fulfillment and purpose. [00:01:00] Our conversation got off to a wonderful start. When I simply asked Steve how he was doing. I'm Damon Davis. And this is my discovery diary with unapologetically confident, Steve Ek.
[:[00:01:16] Damon: You're you and I are a lot alike Steve, when everybody asks me, how you doing? I always say fantastic as usual, because that's my default. So I'm with you.
[:[00:01:29] Damon: That's an interesting perspective. Yeah, and you're absolutely right. There have been times when I've thought to myself, I actually caused this problem.
[:[00:01:51] Steve: And I said, here's an exercise for you. I said, every time you worry, take out your notebook. I'm a big notebook person. I write out everything. I journal [00:02:00] everything. And I said, write out everything that you're worrying about. Everything stressful. Just write it out. And after you do that, circle the things that you have control over and put a line through the things you don't.
[:[00:02:18] Damon: That's interesting. What about the things just along that, let's stay with that exercise for a minute. What about the things that she thinks that she should be able to control, but perhaps she doesn't have as much control as she'd think?
[:[00:02:31] Steve: Okay, she asked the same question. Really? And I said, it's real simple. What is step one of taking action?
[:[00:02:55] Steve: Okay, I think I have control over that. What's the step one? There [00:03:00] isn't. There isn't a step one. I have no control over that. The only thing you can do at that point is look at it and go, you know what, I'm going to reach out to my son and tell him I'm thinking about him. And let it go.
[:[00:03:15] Steve: It's interesting. I gave her a few exercises and I said, now that I've given you these were easy. I give her a couple other exercises. And I said, the funny thing is, because she's trying to create a life. It started out with this. And I said Make out the list and she made out a list and I said, okay, now put a check mark next to the things that cost money to do.
[:[00:03:55] Steve: And I got her to realize all of that. And the funny thing is [00:04:00] the conversation started with her asking a simple question. What do you think I can do that I can become good at?
[:[00:04:08] Damon: I bet she already knew the answer. And I'm going to assume that you drew it out of her too.
[:[00:04:26] Steve: So let's review what you're really good at already.
[:[00:04:31] Steve: build it up.
[:[00:04:33] Steve: I said, okay, now what can you be good at? The short answer is anything you decide you want to be good at. That's a fake. That's easy, but let's take it in a different direction.
[:[00:05:03] Steve: Every part of my life is written out. Wow. I journal everything I mean, I'm deep and on my list The very first thing is I would become I would be an accomplished pianist now I'm a musician saxophone guitar, but I have a little problem. I'm missing half a finger now. Ah Yeah on my left hand, which means I'm missing I don't play saxophone because you need all your fingers, that top three would be very difficult.
[:[00:05:51] Damon: It's
[:[00:05:52] Steve: I'm just keeping a beat. I need three fingers. One of them can be my thumb. I'm like, I can play piano. So You can switch the [00:06:00] drums too, Steve. I could be the drums too. Be the drums too. That would go against all my musical ideas though. Cause I was a drummer ago. You're my human
[:[00:06:12] Steve: You're the one that keeps me in check.
[:[00:06:17] Steve: so I have nothing to complain about. I, if I feel stressed. Were you at the class? I did,
[:[00:06:27] Steve: If I feel fear, I say time to dance with the lizard, and I pull out a notebook and I start writing down where this fear is.
[:[00:06:50] Steve: And for
[:[00:06:55] Steve: Okay are you familiar with the brain? Yes. Okay, so the [00:07:00] amygdala part of the brain. Is where fear is generated from what that's where somebody throws a ball at you. You go like this. That was your amygdala part of your brain reacting
[:[00:07:12] Steve: The reptile brain.
[:[00:07:14] Steve: And so it's your lizard brain. Our brain. So if you're going to dance with the lizard. I'm going to have to challenge my fear.
[:[00:07:23] Steve: I'm going to have to dance with the lizard.
[:[00:07:29] Steve: Exactly, because it's not going away. I can't, I, the lizard's not leaving the ballroom. Let's dance with it.
[:[00:07:50] Damon: I see what
[:[00:07:52] Damon: I love that. Before we go on, Steve, do me a favor. I'd love to just take me back for a while. I'd love to know a little bit [00:08:00] about your history. I know that you have had success in business for years, but I know that there's some history that preceded that. Just tell me a little bit about about your early days that led into, the days that.
[:[00:08:15] Steve: growing up. We were dirt poor,
[:[00:08:36] Steve: And so you can imagine my dad was indifferent. So there was really no support. There was no structure. We were like animals. And I struggled in school and I struggled with literacy. I have a learning disability and with no home life or somebody to step up you don't get the services, especially in the Chicago public school system, it's the largest school system in America.
[:[00:09:06] Damon: not. It's
[:[00:09:22] Steve: So you fall through the cracks. So yeah, I skid through and struggle with literacy but, a lot of anxiety, a lot of, try to hide the family life. So I started drugs at 11, started smoking pot and alcohol. By 14 I was onto cocaine. And just looking for my next high, it was just my relief and got a job out of high school.
[:[00:09:49] Damon: Really? That was the extent of the skill they would trust you with.
[:[00:10:07] Steve: The boss. In what way? He made me see what was possible. He was successful. He's a immigrant from Hungary and really became very successful. His kids were extremely successful, and so he was just disciplined. I had no discipline. And when I realized that the life I was living wasn't getting me anywhere, I'm like the first thing that's got to go is the drugs, like, why am I doing this?
[:[00:10:54] Steve: Yeah. And you can figure it out. So I bought a newspaper every single day [00:11:00] and read, and then I wanted to buy a house. And so I realized that going to lunch cost me money. I packed my own lunch. I bought a motorcycle cause it was economical. Even in the winter, I rode my motorcycle, rode a bicycle, walked.
[:[00:11:18] Damon: to
[:[00:11:24] Damon: There's threads of discipline in everything you've said. You've talked about recognizing the need to eliminate drugs from your life. You've talked about focusing in on building a skill. By reading, that's going to get you to the next place.
[:[00:11:52] Steve: When I learned discipline today, I'm probably the most disciplined person.
[:[00:12:24] Steve: I don't have a big family. In this country, I have two brothers, three cousins, and an aunt. Everyone else is gone. And the rest of my family is in Sweden. I don't have any contact with any of them because I don't want to sound judgmental, but they're losers.
[:[00:12:40] Steve: They're just saying,
[:[00:12:46] Damon: But if you die broke, it is right. Like you got you take the chips you're given and you make something of it. And if you don't, that's your fault.
[:[00:13:04] Steve: I paid that to get rid of them.
[:[00:13:09] Steve: Huh.
[:[00:13:10] Steve: paid the fee, and I got rid of them, and I'm happy for it.
[:[00:13:25] Damon: You share values, you share goals, you share motivation and discipline, and when you don't get that in the people that you're directly related to, it's I don't really have a good relationship with you because we're just not aligned in those core areas. So I can appreciate that. Let me ask you this.
[:[00:13:53] Steve: Yeah. Why would I exit? Okay.
[:[00:13:57] Steve: Here's where no. Here's where we're [00:14:00] JT. I talked to JT all the time.
[:[00:14:20] Steve: So first thing is in business, find what you love, find what you're passionate about, and that's not difficult because if you're not passionate, if you don't have some desire in it, it's a grind. And then, but don't follow your passion. That's just gets you in the business. Once you're in business, you go follow the money.
[:[00:14:59] Steve: I bought [00:15:00] people coffee and left. So why would I exit this bill? This business now it pays me. I write, I get a check. My auto repair shop pays me 300, 000 a year. I don't go there. Why would I sell that?
[:[00:15:15] Steve: It's cha ching. Yeah. Now. Adam coffee and and Larry and JT and I got together because they wanted to do a roll up in the automotive.
[:[00:15:30] Damon: favor. Go back for a moment. You lagged for me. Hold on. Still there. I got a. Full signal. Okay, you're back with, yeah, you're back with me. So go ahead. They wanted to do a roll up in the auto industry.
[:[00:15:54] Steve: And with no brick and mortar. So in automotive, you have brick and mortar. So now you're buying [00:16:00] properties, but you're talking about a skilled, highly skilled labor. And right now there's such a shortage that we're overpaying for talent. And the fact that you have mechanics, you could lose money and still have a business that's sellable.
[:[00:16:36] Steve: Really? And tell me how you're going to combine all this. And then we're going to 10 X it. Yeah I don't see and they try to work at a bunch of different ways. And Larry's we would have to 20 X everything just to make money. I said, it's not the time. I said, the other thing about your roll ups that doesn't work in the automotive industry [00:17:00] is 90 percent of this industry.
[:[00:17:05] Steve: Oh man. But here's the thing as a white guy, I'm going to walk into my back. I got a,
[:[00:17:14] Steve: Okay. So go ahead. As a white guy, I cannot, I would have a difficult time. First of all, the language and gaining trust and then saying to them, so I'm not really going to buy your business.
[:[00:17:38] Damon: right? Which is going to make it sound super shifty, very untrustworthy, very uncertain. Yeah. And
[:[00:17:48] Steve: Your whole real is not. And I said to JT, you do me a favor. You get the first one on board. I'll get the next 50. You get the first one. Yeah. I love that. That's funny. That's funny. And I [00:18:00] said that the, and I'm not a big fan of the roll up thing because honestly I've never gotten to see the inside, the nuts and the bolts.
[:[00:18:13] Damon: Is that something you're going to chat with Adam Coffey about show me how this goes.
[:[00:18:27] Steve: No, we get what's told to us.
[:[00:18:37] Steve: Yes, but I want to see the inside of it.
[:[00:18:44] Damon: Interesting. Yeah,
[:[00:18:47] Damon: Yeah, I want to have the frank conversation with you about the details.
[:[00:19:01] Steve: Adam's a good guy, but I'd love to know the inside of it. Certainly.
[:[00:19:28] Damon: Can you describe first your commitment to make a million dollars a year and then this illuminating point of the ignorance tax?
[:[00:19:44] Damon: The achievement, that's right. Achievement.
[:[00:19:49] Steve: Need a million bucks a year? No. If I did in 18 months, that's fine. That wasn't it. I wanted to see and so that was more of the [00:20:00] challenge, but the, when I got into, when I got into with my coach of you don't know how it sparked me because there was things that I'm like, eh, like they were lucrative that I was passing up opportunities that were there.
[:[00:20:31] Damon: them.
[:[00:20:35] Steve: I said I don't know a lot about it, and I don't want to swing a hammer like flipping homes. He said, okay So why aren't you in the real estate space?
[:[00:20:49] Damon: And
[:[00:20:52] Damon: huh. You had set limits for yourself. Basically.
[:[00:21:11] Steve: And I said I've met people through JT or whatever. And I think of this one couple who's into home flipping, he's like a carpenter. And he's so you think that people have to do that to make money. And I'm like, Oh, you just keep challenging me, aren't you? Oh, okay.
[:[00:21:37] Damon: That's interesting. This, this resonates, I was listening to a podcast on real estate and they interviewed the author of a book called who not how.
[:[00:22:03] Damon: I'm with you.
[:[00:22:16] Steve: I know the person. Yes. There you go. And I'm like, wow. And once I started getting into, to this and how I did it was I would meet somebody and I said, what do you do?
[:[00:22:34] Damon: Say more. Why was that the important? Point to start good person versus Susan. You can be a business mogul and do amazing millions and millions of dollars of business. Why was good person? Your first criteria?
[:[00:22:47] Steve: compromise my ethics. That is a hard rule. Honesty is 100%. And if a person compromises their ethics. , I don't do business with them. . Because that line all of a [00:23:00] sudden becomes real gray.
.
[:[00:23:13] Steve: . And then know if they hustle. Yeah. I have to know these things. . And then we'll start to talk about business.
[:[00:23:22] Steve: And then you say, okay, so one person that I met and she was in real estate, she really knew her market. And I said in your market is a really odd market.
[:[00:23:49] Steve: I'm sitting here right now. How fast can you wire me money? I said, chase bank is four doors away from whatever it takes for me to hang up and go to chase bank, you'll have your money. And everyone I [00:24:00] deal with, I tell them the same thing. If I say, I'm going to send you money, you will get it. If I say it's one hour, you'll get it one hour, not a week, not a month.
[:[00:24:30] Steve: Some people love him. Some people hate him, this and that. One quality, when it comes to money, any dealings, and I've had a lot of dealings, if he says it'll be in your bank account on the 19th, it is in your bank account on the 19th.
[:[00:24:45] Steve: He doesn't mess around.
[:[00:24:55] Damon: More cautiously than you would treat your own, right? This is a relationship that you are trying [00:25:00] to not just have on a transactional basis, but potentially to build business relationships well into the future. And if you're not judicious and careful with other people's money, that's a relationship lost.
[:[00:25:22] Steve: I have one guy that I work with. I do a lot of business with, and the first time we're going to work together, I I handed him 50, 000.
[:[00:26:04] Steve: And now we're solid.
[:[00:26:17] Steve: powerful. He did it. He he made it happen. And I'm like, I will do business with somebody like that anytime.
[:[00:26:31] Damon: Yeah.
[:[00:26:34] Damon: Yeah.
[:[00:26:42] Steve: My wife took off and cleaned out an account. Hang on a second. I think somebody's looking for me. Sure. One second. I can see out in the street. That's why
[:[00:27:09] Steve: And I said you're going to continue your life. You're going to be there and you're going to take your kids and you're going to get somebody to sit there 10 years old you'll figure it out. It was like, she cleaned out the account that said we'll 10, 000. Help you. He said that would put me right on track and I already got 10, 000 to help him and
[:[00:27:33] Damon: Yeah, yeah,
[:[00:27:35] Damon: Yeah,
[:[00:27:49] Damon: That's amazing. Yeah. That personal relationship goes a very long
[:[00:27:54] Steve: I, anybody I do business with I also have a friendship and a relationship [00:28:00] with. That's great. That's the other part of it. It's nothing is just business.
[:[00:28:19] Damon: You don't take the chances that you should have. Tell me about some of your mistakes and what you've learned along the way.
[:[00:28:38] Steve: And it was for sale and I looked at it and I said, no, they're asking 240, 000. And I said, no. And I should have said yes. And the guy that bought it, knocked on the house, put up a building and walked away with 2 million bucks. Oh my goodness. Wow. And it happened in a, another real [00:29:00] estate deal, like I said, no, and I passed up opportunities.
[:[00:29:35] Steve: And the hard, I did the market because, so I overpaid and I knew I was overpaid. And then 2008 hit and the bottom dropped out. I didn't, I lost about 70, 000, something like that. And I thought, okay, what did I learn? A couple of things. One, don't overpay, make your money on the buy,
[:[00:30:00] Steve: You sell, you can't guarantee the sell.
[:[00:30:07] Damon: I just said this to somebody recently. I have a couple of pieces of real estate and I was talking to them about possibly selling and I changed my mind because I've said and I've heard multiple people who own real estate like yourself, Steve, say, I wish I had kept that property, right?
[:[00:30:28] Steve: Yeah. So I panic now. Here's a lesson that I'd learned after that about selling. You know who Warren Buffett is? I do. Absolutely. So Warren Buffett is worth 85. 5 billion. How much of that do you think he's made after the age of 50?
[:[00:30:56] Steve: 2 billion out of the 85. 5 [00:31:00] he made after the age of 50 years old he had 300 million dollars. And Warren Buffett said the reason he was able to is because he didn't sell. He hung on to it. He said in his life, he's owned a couple hundred stocks.
[:[00:31:20] Damon: There you go.
[:[00:31:25] Damon: Yeah.
[:[00:31:31] Damon: You've topped it off. That's right. Steve, before I let you go, I would love to hear about your work to coach others as Someone who preaches being unapologetically confident.
[:[00:31:48] Steve: So I I do coach others. I have one on one clients. I'm building my one to many, but it has to be in such a way where there's so much value because I don't want some gimmicky [00:32:00] course. It has to have all the pieces in place and have an impact.
[:[00:32:24] Steve: He's a great base. Derek Jeter was a great baseball player. He went into a slump. He didn't forget how to hit a baseball, right? It was up here. The slumps are always in your head. You got to get out of the slump. And Pete Rose always said, don't change your swing. That's what got you to the majors. Yes, it's all.
[:[00:33:06] Steve: Now it's happening to 'em.
[:[00:33:09] Steve: Or they're just, maybe business isn't bad, but it's never been great because they never thought it could be. So there's something in between their airs is holding them back from doing this and skyrocketing everybody. That's they don't believe in themselves. They doubt themselves.
[:[00:33:48] Steve: I want to see their businesses. I want to see what's going on. I am so committed. I am calling them regularly. I am meeting with their employees. Every one of them is successful. That's why they don't quit. I [00:34:00] keep telling them what you're paying me is very minimal to what's really happening. And the last one I had that quit quit, stop, we ran out and he didn't read up.
[:[00:34:34] Steve: He had no goals in place. He had no, he was just alternative
[:[00:34:42] Steve: And fulfillment is your purpose, that's fulfillment. Buy a buy an expensive car and thinking that's going to make you happy because that's not fulfillment. That's achievement.
[:[00:35:12] Steve: He had
[:[00:35:16] Steve: man, and I worked with him for a year He changed so much. He was a guy that wanted to live in the woods and prep for doomsday. I am not kidding. He would listen to doomsday YouTube videos in that. And I said, do you realize who puts these out?
[:[00:35:40] Damon: interesting. The mindset of the video producer is limited, destructive. I see what you're saying. So by feeding himself that stuff in his mind, he was actually creating his own. Lack of fulfillment, right?
[:[00:36:03] Steve: He took his kids snow skiing and he never taken them snow skiing because he used to say, you know what? I really don't like people. I don't like being around people. And I said of course you don't. You've been feeding like this and I go challenge yourself, go skiing with your kids.
[:[00:36:42] Steve: It's who, you're not the person that could do it. He would have never reached that. Like his businesses took off. He opened up a second one. It would have never done it because he wasn't a person that could do it.
[:[00:36:58] Damon: You're just an
[:[00:37:01] Damon: Yeah, that makes sense.
[:[00:37:10] Steve: It sounds oh, that's just a way of making money. Making money is not hard. It really isn't. The more you make, the more you realize it's easier to make.
[:[00:37:30] Damon: I agree. I agree. Steve. This has been amazing. Unapologetically confident. I love it. Love it. Love it. You and I are cut from similar cloth, different backgrounds, but definitely maintain that positivity between the ears.
[:[00:37:53] Steve: Yeah, you too.
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